


Platonic

by DenahiChris



Category: Original Work
Genre: Aromantic spectrum, Asexuality Spectrum, F/M, Happy Ending, Internalized Acephobia, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, My First AO3 Post, Short One Shot, ace/aro, lithromantic character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 02:17:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17438009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DenahiChris/pseuds/DenahiChris
Summary: Was there something wrong with her?





	Platonic

He was so sweet.

She had her eyes on him since the first time they met. Classmates. They had mutual friends. It was easy for her to get attached as they grew closer. He had such a beautiful smile…

They would talk and talk for hours straight. They listened to each other. He laughed at her silly jokes. She fantasized about the taste of his beautiful lips. He didn’t know it. They were friends. Best friends maybe. She was absolutely sure he didn’t like her that way and that was okay. She didn’t mind. They enjoyed each other’s company.

After some time, she started wondering if that was love.

It could be. It was so pure. For some reason, her thoughts never went naughty. Maybe now and then she would be curious, but she never really felt the desire her other friends told her she would. She just couldn’t feel it.

“Maybe it’s better this way,” people told her. “You say you’re just friends. One less reason to suffer.”

But she wasn’t suffering. She was happy. Every time she was with him she felt joy. Every time she imagined them together she felt joy. It didn’t hurt her that he had never showed any kind of reciprocity. He didn’t seem to daydream about her as she did about him. And it was fine.

“You’re probably afraid of ruining your friendship.”

Was that it? Didn’t feel like so. Their friendship was golden, perfect, pure. It was like nothing could possibly tear them apart. Everyone point them as repressed people, as though they couldn’t just like each other without making out. That wasn’t true. That was not their relationship. For a long time, she thought there was something wrong with her, because she just couldn’t feel that way.

But she was still passionate.

He was all over her mind. The way she thought his hand would caress her skin. How good his lips would feel against hers. All the affection he would show her, tangling his fingers in her hair, cuddling after looking at each other’s eyes. To feel the warm of his body against hers at night. It was just perfect. She felt so comfortable at the thought it was like he was there with her.

Not that he never showed her affection. He did. They hugged, they caressed each other. But it was all pure friendship, she knew. He didn’t see her that way, so… romantically.

Until that day came.

They had spent the whole afternoon together. Talking, eating, laughing, playing. A regular day. She felt light as feather.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

The words came out of his mouth, but she struggled to understand them.

For so long she felt involved with him, picturing them together, believing he would never feel the same way. All those imaginary kisses, all that passion and affection, they could become real.

At first, she was glad. He seemed nervous, he probably had rehearsed those simple words, the sweet he was. She smiled at him and confessed how she had been feeling since the first day they met.

He smiled back and went to kiss her. She awaited the fireworks, but they never came. His lips did feel good, but not as she thought they would. His hands did feel good, but something was off. In the end, she admitted to herself that the experience had been very awkward.

What was wrong with her?

She accepted being his girlfriend. Now they could do everything she had ever imagined. Wasn’t it what she wanted from the beginning? Wasn’t it?

She still remembered how she had fantasized his touches. It felt so good at the time, but now it had… faded?

There was definitely something wrong with her.

What if she was being a cold hearted bitch? That was it. She enjoyed toying with people’s feelings. She seduced the boy and now he would pay for her crimes. That was it.

Was it?

It started to hurt her. Now when he went to kiss her she wanted to turn her face away. She just couldn’t understand. She liked him so much, admired him so much. All those fantasies seemed so far away now. She still remembered them, and preferred them to reality.

Maybe she had too much expectations. That was why it didn’t feel as good as her daydreams. Again the boy was paying for her crimes. She was an idiot. Why did she have to like him? He would be so better without her. What did he see in her?

She still liked him. She still admired him. Now and then, she would even think about him with passion again. She just would rather him not to touch her, not to expect anything from her. She didn’t want to be a girlfriend.

But why?

Even though she felt like trash most times, she knew in the bottom of her heart that she wasn’t the kind of person who gets off toying with people. The high expectations thing also seemed odd. She had the feeling that it would happen that way anyway.

When he suggested introducing her as his new girlfriend to his family, she lost it. She broke in tears and told him everything. After all, they were still friends, and their friendship was more important to her than anything.

At the end of her story, he smiled kindly and apologised for pressuring her. Then he told her something that would change her life.

“It’s okay. People have different ways to love. You’re valid.”

That night, she did her research. It was true what he said. People were different. People expected something from her that she couldn’t give, but she had other things to share. Her love was valid, her love was beautiful. It was just different than what most people thought it should be, but her way was not wrong.

And there was more.

There were other people like her.

There were people that were different from her and different from what most people thought too. She was not alone.

Their friendship didn’t stay the same forever. But not because of their different ways of loving, no. It was still pure and nice. However, he got a job in another country, flew to across the ocean and found another love. They still meet from time to time, but life has these things.

She will never be anyone’s girlfriend again. It’s just not for her. It wouldn’t make sense for her to force herself to attend someone else’s expectations. There were some other bad experiences, of course, but that happens to everyone.

No one is alone. We’re all different, but our hearts still beat the same way.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is the first fic I post and I really hope you enjoy it. Shout-out to all my LGBTQ+ fellows, we resist!


End file.
